Man plans to propose to his girlfriend of 1 month at her online friend's ‘Friendsgiving’ dinner: ‘He never actually asked me if I was okay with it’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Nov 21, 2025 3:00 PM EST

Friendsgiving celebrations are a way to celebrate the people you're grateful for but don't share DNA with. We can all wish upon a holiday star that our families wouldn't embarrass us if we brought our friends to our actual Thanksgiving celebrations, but that would be literal wishful thinking.

There's a reason the two celebrations are often kept separate. Unfortunately, though, being without extended family doesn't necessarily mean being without drama. That's just not how the world works. Funnily enough, you might find that the kind of drama that really digs deep is the one where you expected different, more polite behavior, but did not receive that from someone.

Here's the situation in the story below: A man is hosting a Friendsgiving party. He invited his online friend, whom he had recently met in person after a long time of playing video games together. This friend's new boyfriend, however, claims he cannot attend the celebration but then secretly reaches out to the host, telling him that he'll be proposing during the dinner. Make sure to keep it a surprise! The host has no clue what to do about the situation, let alone if his online friend even wants the proposal to happen, given the short time they've been together. What would you do here?

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  • 01
    a group of friends sitting around a dining room table on thanksgiving
    via Victoria Romulo For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    "AITA for not wanting a guy I barely know to propose at my Friendsgiving?"

    Hi all, I (31M) host a Friendsgiving/Thanksgiving dinner every year before actual Thanksgiving. Family and close friends come over, we do the traditional feast, games, activities...
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  • 03
    pretty normal stuff. This year we invited a friend, "Jackie." We've played games with her online for years, but only met her in person this past March.
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    She brought her new partner, "Mike" (30M). None of us really liked him, mostly because he insists on bringing up politics in literally any conversation, but he seemed like a decent enough guy otherwise.
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    For context, Jackie and Mike had only been dating for about a month we met him, so a very new relationship.
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  • 06
    We invited Jackie to Friendsgiving this year, and we're told Mike wouldn't make it due to work.
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  • 07
    Cool. No big deal. Until tonight. I get a text from Mike. Not Jackie... MIKE! He says he can actually come to Friendsgiving after all, but he doesn't want Jackie to know.
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  • 08
    Then he tells me he'll arrive around 6 PM and that we need to be ready to take a "bunch of picture" because this crazy bastard wants to propose to her at my Friendsgiving.
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    Here's the thing... even though we've known Jackie for years, we don't know her super well personally.
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    We rarely talked about our real lives while gaming. Only in the past 10 months has she become more involved in the friend group outside of talking about League of Legends.
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    We don't know much about her relationship with Mike. I don't even know if they live together.
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    And again-I have met this man ONE TIME in my entire life. What really gets me is that he's already taken off work, bought the ring, made a whole plan, didn't consult me, and basically just told me, "This is what I'm doing at your Friendsgiving, are you cool with that?" Like it's a done deal.
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    A week and a half before Friendsgiving! Friendsgiving is usually for my immediate family because on actual Thanksgiving I go to my fiancé's family's house.
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    So it feels really weird to have a guy I barely know propose at my house to a friend I care about buy don't know in terms of their personal/romantic life.
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    I don't know if she even wants to get married. I don't know if this kind of rushed, half-baked proposal is something she'd appreciate.
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    Not only that, but I really don't want to be complicit in a potentially disastrous moment.
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    a red velvet ring box with a white diamond ring in it
    via SJ Objio For Unsplash+
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    want to tell no. But I also feel bad because Jackie doesn't have many friends in this state, and her family lives across the country.
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  • 19
    I get why Mike thinks this is the perfect setting.. There's people she knows, a big gathering-but I think he wildly misunderstands how close we all are and is putting me in a super uncomfortable position.
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  • 20
    AITA if I tell Mike he can't propose at my Friendsgiving. TLDR - My friend's bf wants to propose at our family/friends Thanksgiving.
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  • 21
    Planned everything out without telling me, took off work got the ring, and then finally messages me telling me he needs me to take pictures and videos.
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  • 22
    I don't want this potentially disastrous proposal to ruin my friends and families Thanksgiving. Edit: in my post, I originally stated that he said "this is what I'm doing at your Friendsgiving, are you cool with that?".
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  • 23
    But actually, he DIDNT ask. He simply said "I want to make it a surprise for Jackie, I pulled some strings to get the day off, but I told her I was doing some drills the weekend of Friendsgiving.
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  • 24
    I just need some to take some pictures and videos. Can you do that?" He never actually asked me if I was okay with it.
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  • 25
    He just asked me to take pictures and videos! Update: I received a lot of helpful replies.
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  • 26
    Last night I decided to paint Mike a better picture of what kind of event this would be and who all would be attending, to gently tell him this may not be the best time or place to do this.
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  • 27
    I also told him plans were already made and set to be at 3pm so his arrival time of 6pm wouldn't work.
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  • 28
    He has yet to reply to me yet he's posting on his Instagram story as I type this out.
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  • 29
    It's been over 12 hours. Will update when something happens
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Tags

friendship thanksgiving dinner aita holiday season drama AITAH thanksgiving friends reddit story holiday friend drama friend dinner entitled reddit thread Reddit holidays happy thanksgiving entitled people
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